Nothing hurts as much as lost love. When you think you have found that special person you want to go through life with and it doesn't work out it can leave you feeling lost, devastated and physically ill. You think you won't get through it. You think you CAN"T get through it.  The reality is that it takes effort on your part to survive a break up.  With that effort and with time you can reclaim your life and heal. And eventually be ready to move on to another relationship. Below is an interesting perspective from someone who has been through it along with some great tips on how to manage the first week.

How To Survive The First Week Of A Broken Heart

Posted by: Amelia  Frisky.com

iStockphoto

When someone asks us for a date we usually zoom right on all the reasons to go. But sometimes there are some good reasons NOT to go….read on…

Five reasons NOT to go on a date

By Judy McGuire

(The Frisky) — Have you ever just not been in the mood to go out on yet another first date, but force yourself to do it anyway? You talk yourself into it, reasoning, "What if he's the one and instead of meeting him, I stayed home to eat cereal out of the box and watch 'Gossip Girl?'"

So, being a trooper, you slap on some lipstick and head out. And then nine times out of ten, the whole evening turns out to be an exercise in humiliation and/or futility and you come home more miserable than you were beforehand.

That's because while it can be fun, dating can also be brutal. To be at all successful you have to be at the top of your game. Do you think Serena Williams sits around drinking milkshakes and watching reality TV the week before Wimbledon? No. She trains, stretches, meditates and makes certain her cutest tennis whites are clean.

But unlike Serena — who has to play even if she's cranky or bloated — you can always cancel. Because let's face it, there are times when a lady has no business inflicting herself on others. Here are a few of these times:

4. You're Not-Over-Him: What a jerk. Who does he think he is — leaving you for the baby-talking twit who lives next door? What does she have that you don't? Well, for one thing, HIM. For another, her dignity. If you're still pining away for the one who got away, don't inflict yourself on a new guy. You're not going to have a good time because he's not him. He's not going to have any fun because you, my friend, are a basket-case and should be back home, boring your girlfriends with your sob stories and stuffing your face with Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby ice-cream.

5. You're Drunk: If you need more than one cocktail to get you into a date state, you should take off your fancy shoes, plop yourself back down onto the sofa, and text your regrets to the gentleman on his way to pick you up.

We all have questions about our relationships. Everyone's friend Oprah published this interesting take on them…..

6 relationship decisions we've made for you

(OPRAH.com) — Here are the answers to some of the biggest relationship dilemmas.

1. I'm married and exhausted. Sex or sleep?

"Both," says Paul Glovinsky, PhD, co-author of "The Insomnia Answer." "It's not just a question of sex but of timing. Often, women are stimulated by sex and can't sleep afterward." Which, as you know, means he crashes like a mighty oak while you lie awake and fume.

"If you can time things to coincide with the time of day when you're at peak energy, your sex life will be significantly more satisfying." (Remember sex in the morning? Weekend naptime?)

And speaking of time, Linda Young, Ph.D., a Washington-based therapist who specializes in helping women foster healthy relationships, adds this: "The average encounter is only around 20 minutes, so ask yourself why you're hesitant. Your resistance might be a reflection of your lack of satisfaction with the sex." Or your fear of intimacy, your performance anxiety, your anger about something else in the relationship — the point being that sexual unhappiness can be a shield for many other types of issues. Oprah.com: Need a reason to have sex tonight?

2. My clock is ticking. Settle for the guy I care about, or hold out for The One, who may never show up?

Do. Not. Settle. "Both of you — not to mention the children you might have — may pay the price of a fractured relationship later," says psychotherapist Ken Page, founder of the dating workshop "Deeper Dating."

Marrying Mr. Almost The One is, on the other hand, perfectly admissible. "If someone is your match in 75 to 85 percent of the things that are important to you — values, character strengths, how he treats other people, emotional fitness — that's not settling," says Young. "But it's up to you to infuse 'good enough' with energy and passion so that it becomes fantastic. And chemistry counts; you need to be attracted to each other."

3. I've met a great guy. He never calls. Should I call him?

"It's 2008. You can call," says Steve Santagati, author of "The MANual" and resident expert at AskSteveSantagati.com. Still, Santagati urges you not to put the guy on the spot. "Let him initiate plans. You can just say hello to open the lines of communication, and he might hear something in the phone call that he didn't get the first time you met." The way he responds will tell you whether you have a future together. Oprah.com: Inside the male mind

4. He's married, but he says he's not happy and it's ending. I should stay away, right?

Run as though you're fleeing a burning house. Which, in fact, you are.

"He's already showing you he hasn't put enough distance between himself and his problematic relationship," says Young. "If you get involved, he's going to subject you to all his issues, and you're going to be a wonderful dumping ground."

5. When, if ever, is it a good idea to try again with a guy whose heart you've already broken?

About as often as pigs fly. "Usually, you can't go backward," says Manhattan-based matchmaker Janis Spindel. "It's a case-by-case scenario, but statistics show that it doesn't usually work."

The case where it might work: when the failure was unrelated to your attraction or personalities but caused by outside circumstances — say, one of you was going through a family tragedy, or you were transferred to another city. Absent such extenuating circumstances, analyze what went wrong the first time, assume a similar dynamic will arise again, and then determine whether that dynamic is feasible in your current life.

6. I love my partner, but the sex is underwhelming. Stay the course or go?

Neither. Instead, you're going to do the hardest thing you've ever done. "Think about the things that turn you on in the deepest ways, the things that make you feel most loved and cared for," says Page. "What kind of touch? What words? What kind of pacing makes you feel the most affection for your partner? Tell each other, no matter how wild or tame your desires might seem. When the two of you are unafraid to be naughty and vulnerable together, the experience can be amazing." Sex thrives on risk and surrender, and you're probably missing one or both. Oprah.com: Should you stay or go?

Arianne Cohen is a Manhattan-based writer. Her exploration of the world of tall people, "The Tall Book" will be published in January 2009.

Additional reporting by Brooke Kosofsky Glassberg and Kate Sandoval.